Now the fun begins!

Now that we know there is a "little something" hiding between Baby's legs, the fun can begin! My first order of business is the nursery theme and crib bedding. Hubby and I have definitely decided on a Doggy theme but I am trying to choose between the two sets posted below. The first one is more of a funky theme and will allow me to incorporate more greens into the room, which I am leaning towards. The 2nd one is more traditional and uses the classic blue and brown that a lot of boys room seem to have. What do you all think?

(Source)

(Source)

It's A......

BOY!!!!

Quick Post Before Tomorrow's Big Reveal!

So tomorrow is our Gender/Anatomy scan. A lot of my Mommy friends said once you find out the gender, it kind of makes things seem more "real". (Other then the huge belly that seems to be getting bigger and bigger to remind you about the alien growing inside you.) Boy or Girl, I am excited no matter what and seriously care more about everything being okay and healthy with the Baby. My appointment is 9am tomorrow morning so as soon as I can I will fill you all in on what we find out.

Baby D's Heartbeat 18 weeks!

Best sound in the world!

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That Belly is Getting Bigger! 18 weeks and Counting...

How Far Along: 18 weeks - Almost half way there!

Maternity Clothes: Still enjoying maternity pants. Also been buying a lot of the open sweaters that are very trendy right now, since they will be good to wear next winter post-baby.

Stretch Marks: Again, I ask - Is it normal to find new ones daily?!

Sleep: The peeing during the middle of the night is not as horrible. 6am is still when the body usually gives in, but I am having a really hard time finding a comfortable position. I also seem to wake up every morning with neck and back pain from sleeping and really must invest in that pregnancy pillow!!!

Best moment of the week: (I think I am) Starting to feel the baby's flutters. Also, finding Baby D on the Doppler very easily and hearing the heartbeat loud and clear!

Movement: Early "flutters"

Food Cravings: kraft mac n cheese, spaghetti, Wendy's Hamburgers!!!!

Gender: Dec 21st cannot come soon enough!!! I want to know what's hiding (or not hiding!) between Baby D's legs!!

What I'm looking forward to this week: Feeling Baby D more, continue to see my belly grow! Counting down the days till the 20 week ultrasound!!

18 weeks pic!!!

Hellooo Month 4!!

How Far Along: 16 weeks - Here we go month 4!

Maternity Clothes: Yup...loving full panel maternity jeans and definitely having some fun at Motherhood Maternity!

Stretch Marks: Is it normal to find new ones daily?!

Sleep: Lately, 4am and 6am are my body's choice of pee times. Also, finding it tough to get comfortable sleeping on my back and sides...the hunt for a perfect sleep position continues....

Best moment of the week: Knowing the baby was okay and doing amazing during my little scare to the ER this past week; finally picking names (we will see if they stick till May!)

Movement: Hopefully will start to feel the "flutters" soon....if I don't confuse them with gas!

Food Cravings: pickles, kraft mac n cheese, spaghetti, the list goes on.....

Gender: Exactly 1 month from today is the gender ultrasound!!!

What I'm looking forward to this week: Maybe starting to feel the baby move; continue to see my body change and my "baby bump" getting bigger!

Baby Bump 15 weeks, 5 days

I managed to fit into some old sweatpants today which is a marvelous feeling since my pre-baby jeans don't fit anymore. I used to live in my GAP Long and Leans and thankfully they do come in Maternity size. A little expensive, but since they are my favorite, I splurged and bought myself a pair.

Anyway, me and my sweats are showing off the baby bump this week! I am wearing an Old Navy fleece on top so I'm wondering if that makes me look a little bigger, so I tried to press my shirt down in one of the pics. I cannot believe I hit 16 weeks on Sunday - 4 months!!

PS/I didn't write a post about it, but I had a quick visit to the ER on Tuesday after some cramping overnight. It turned out too be round ligament pains (silly me!) but I did get to see the baby on an ultrasound and he/she was looking great! Moving its arms and legs all around and even kicking my cervix. Thank god I don't feel that yet! Heartbeat was a healthy 155 so no worries with Baby or Mommy.

Quick Update on Baby D!!

Mommy and Baby D's appointment well great today! Baby's heartbeat went from 155-162....the nurse said the baby must have been moving around, which is why the number kept changing. We also were able to schedule the big ultrasound for December 21st. I was a little disappointed that my doctor's office wouldn't let us schedule it before 20 weeks, but they want to make sure that you will be able to see everything. The countdown now begins for team pink or team blue!!!

Finally Popping Out!

Here's a pic of my bump at 14 weeks, 3 days

I haven't posted "bump pics" so far because I really felt like I didn't have anything to show. This morning though, I noticed my favorite jeans refused to button - made me finally notice something was finally popping up!

Helloooo 2nd Trimester! It's So Nice to Meet You!!!

How Far Along: 14 weeks - Yea 2nd Trimester!!!!

Maternity Clothes: Yup. 3 pairs of jeans, a whole tub of borrowed clothes from the Best Friend, lots of cardigan sweaters, 1st visit to Motherhood Maternity, and the Belly Belt!

(Target.com)

I love this thing!!! Let's you wear your pre-pregnancy pants and jeans by just adding an extender. The only downside is as you get bigger, the zipper may not come up, but most maternity shirts will cover that, so I was willing to live with it.

Stretch Marks: It's funny how you find new ones every day! (Note the hint of sarcasm.)

Sleep: 3am and 7am seem to be my favorite times to pee right now.

Best moment of the week: Getting to the 2nd trimester and feeling like things will be good from here on out (hopefully!)

Movement: Round Ligament Pains started big time this week....wasn't prepared for how much these would hurt.

Food Cravings: this week hasn't been too bad. Nothing crazy or new. Would like to go back to craving apples!

Gender: Hopefully scheduling the Gender Ultrasound at our appointment on Friday. I want to know what this kid is sooo bad right now! Not being able to shop is killing me!

What I'm looking forward to this week: Doctor's appointment on Friday, Scheduling the Gender Ultrasound, starting to see a "baby bump" instead of a fat belly (though that may take a few more weeks)

RLP = Wow Didn't See That Coming!

So I think I experienced my 1st instance of Round Ligament Pain (RLP) this morning. I went to a craft show with my mother-in-law and the whole time I was walking around, it felt like someone was stabbing me in the right side of my abdomen. I of course was freaking out that something was seriously wrong but I have had no bleeding or spotting which makes me think it must be RLP. I know that RLP is supposed to start around your second trimester and with Sunday being the start of week 14 (yea 2nd tri!), it would make sense for what I have been feeling to be RLP. I hope so!! Thank god for Tylenol though! Definitely saved me!!!!

Getting Through the 1st Trimester Means....

Getting through the 1st trimester means a lot of things....one in particular that I am loving is finally feeling comfortable buying baby clothes! Here is my first purchase for Baby! (Mommy also has a matching shirt but that will make its debut when Mommy has a belly big enough to fill it out!)

Almost Done with the 1st Trimester!!!

How Far Along: 12 weeks - Last week of 1st trimester!

Maternity Clothes: Very soon....jeans are definitely getting too tight and some of my favorite shirts from last season don't fit anymore because of my boobs :(

Stretch Marks: No Comment

Sleep: Still tough to make it through a full night without peeing - I'm sure this will only get worse

Best moment of the week: Seeing the baby moving around on the ultrasound!

Movement: Does my uterus deciding to stretch like crazy this week count?!

Food Cravings: still fast food hamburgers (yum!), kraft mac n cheese

Gender: Nope - not for awhile

What I'm looking forward to this week: Getting my fetal Doppler in the mail so I can listen to the heartbeat at home!

Baby is on the move....

Here is a new pic of Baby at 11 weeks 1 day old. Heart rate was a very healthy 163. Baby was very active during the ultrasound - kept turning around and changing position! Baby also waved several times and kicked its feet up in the air! Favorite moment of the ultrasound - Baby put both hands up in the air to make a "touchdown" sign! We already have a little football fan on our hands!

11 Weeks and Counting....

How Far Along: 11 weeks!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 1 lb so far (not bad for a girl craving fast food burgers right now!)

Maternity Clothes: Maternity jeans are still too big. Regular jeans are still doable, but getting tighter

Stretch Marks: Noticing more on my boobies - not happy about this!!

Sleep: Still getting up early to pee and going from hot to cold. I'm sure it only gets worse from here.

Best moment this week: Definitely hearing the heartbeat for the first time. Amazing!

Movement: Does round ligament pain count?

Food cravings: fast food hamburgers, apples, pasta, etc. - The list continues.

Gender: not yet. The heartbeat was at 172 so friends and family think its a girl but we will see.

What I'm looking forward to this week: Ultrasound tomorrow! (even though its to check for any genetic abnormalities, I'm not excited for anything to be wrong, but still looking forward to getting another picture of the bambino)

The Sound of Something Amazing....

Today's doctor appointment was amazing. Baby's heartbeat was heard loud and clear (on the very 1st try by the nurse!) The heart rate is measuring at 172, which the Doctor said is great. We made it to 10 weeks!! (Can you hear my sigh of relief?!)

We have our sequential screening ultrasound on Monday so stay tuned for an updated pic of the bambino!!!

Update on Test Results!

A quick update - Doctor office called today. Hubby is negative for CF! This means that are chances of the baby having CF are extremely low. They also tested Hubby for a bunch of other genetic mutations and conditions and he came back negative for all of them. We will get more specifics at our next doctor's appointment which is next Tuesday but we are excited about these results. We are still planning on having the 12 week sequential screening to rule out Down Syndrome, etc. but this news at least gives us some hope that things with the baby will be be smooth from here on out.

The Start of the Third Month!!

how far along: 9 weeks! Last month of the 1st trimester!

total weight gain/loss: haven't noticed big changes on the scale, but the pants are starting to get a little tight

maternity clothes: since my jeans were starting to get tight, I bought my 1st pair of maternity jeans from Old Navy, but they are still too big; bought my 1st NY Giants themed maternity shirt online

stretch marks: before or after pregnancy? hehe

sleep: still having to pee in the early morning and am starting to notice going from hot to cold, tossing and turning a little bit

best moment this week: this last week was a tough one with the nausea but ordering my 1st maternity shirt online was very exciting!

movement: nope, not for a long while!

food cravings: with the ongoing nausea, I go from being starving to sick at the sight of food, but when I am craving, lately it has been burgers and french fries and apples. (what a combo!)

gender: still awhile till we find this out but Hubby still thinks its a girl though. :)

what I'm looking forward to this week: I'm excited for our 10 week appointment to see how the baby is doing and hopefully hearing the heartbeat!

Life is Testing Me....

Today was a tough day. The first I am sure of many and a good test for how Hubby and I will handle what happens along the way. I went in for routine blood work a little over a week ago. I am not a fan of needles, but since this was the 4th or 5th time I have had to do this, I am starting to get used to the ongoing poking and prodding of my veins. I was told not to expect any phone calls from the Doctor unless something came back on the blood work that was a concern. The concern I wasn't expecting came today.

The nurse from my doctor's office called today to tell me that everything came back on the blood work fine - iron levels, hepatitis negative, etc, except I tested positive for the Cystic Fibrosis (CF) mutation. Long story short, if Hubby also carries this mutation, our baby has a 25% chance of having CF. Needless to say, Hubby was having his blood drawn during his lunch hour today.

This news today was an unexpected blow but surprisingly not a shock. I don't know if its a bad or good thing, but I was familiar with this situation, as my best friend went through this exact same situating when she was pregnant with her son last year. She was a wreck during the entire process and wasn't okay till her husband tested negative. Thank god for my ongoing therapy, or I imagine I would have broken down and been a wreck myself at work today. I was able to hold myself together remembering not to worry until we really have a reason to worry. Don't get me wrong, I am not taking this news lightly. The idea of something being wrong with this baby or even having to face the decision on how to move forward knowing our baby would have something wrong with it or even worse, could die at birth or very shortly after is incomprehensible to me. I haven't thought about it yet and haven't really wanted to.

This news today also opened a new "can of worms" concerning the genetic testing we are supposed to schedule for week 12 to rule out Down Syndrome and other genetic disorders/diseases. Before today, Hubby and I had decide to move forward with this testing, wanting to know all that we would be dealing with and if there was something wrong, making sure we had time to be prepared for it. However, getting a phone call saying there could potentially be something wrong with the baby is not something I want to get used to. If my Doctor could promise that the 12 week screening would come back 100% okay or the results could even be immediate, I might be less hesitant to move forward with these tests, but after the phone call today I'm having 2nd thoughts. After some conversations this evening though, Hubby and I did decide that the 12 week testing is something we are going to do. I have mixed feelings, but if we can get through a bump in the road concerning this CF issue, we can deal with anything. We love each other and know we will love this baby more then anything.

I may be a control freak and have issues with anxiety, but I know that part of being ready for motherhood involved giving up this control and becoming less anxious very quickly. This process hasn't been easy but I feel I am making more progress everyday. Life is throwing me tests all the time, hence today's phone call. I am becoming a stronger person and I know its going to make me an even better parent then I would have been. So, test away life. Keep throwing me curve balls. I am ready for whatever happens.

Halfway There....

To keep my friends and family who read this blog updated, I've decided to post these weekly updates. Hope you enjoy!

how far along: 7 weeks! Halfway through the 1st trimester!

total weight gain/loss: so far, so good - no gain according to my home scale

maternity clothes: none yet, but am feeling very bloated and some pants feel tight at certain times

stretch marks: before or after pregnancy? hehe

sleep: other then getting up to pee in the early mornings, still not a problem

best moment this week: being able to tell some close friends and Hubby's family about the baby

movement: nope, not for a long while!

food cravings: is it normal to be craving all bad food this early?! french fries, Doritos, ice cream, etc. I'm waiting for the fruit and veggie cravings to kick in!

gender: 13 weeks to go before we find this out! Hubby thinks its a girl though. :)

what I'm looking forward to this week: being able to tell some more (very limited few) friends

Arriving May 8th, 2011!!!

Look what I'm getting for Mother's Day next year?

Today marks 6 weeks 1 day pregnant and we were able to see a heartbeat today that measured 120. The doctor said everything looked great!! Here comes our May Baby!!

(Daddy's Birthday is actually May 13th so this will be the best birthday present he has got in awhile!)

Mommy (And Daddy) Can't Wait for Monday!

Forgive me for the break in posting. It got a little crazy for a few days with work and then Hubby and I went out of town for a Wedding, but now we are back and in full "Mommy" and "Daddy" mode.

Tomorrow is my 1st ultrasound and Tuesday is my 1st doctor appointment "post BFP", so this week will be a huge week in making sure everything is progressing as it should be. Even though my beta numbers came back great and I have been having the expected pregnancy symptoms, I still have this pit in my stomach that something is going to go wrong at tomorrow's ultrasound. My worst fear is that they can't find anything or there is no heartbeat and I have to face the truth that we lost or will be losing the baby, but that is the extreme worst case scenario. "Positive thinking" is the new motto in our house, so thinking the worst is the worst thing I can do for Hubby, Me and most importantly Baby-to-be.

With positive thoughts in mind, I am going into tomorrow's ultrasound with an open mind and honest excitement. Pregnancy hasn't felt real for me yet, even with all the symptoms I have, so I know seeing something tomorrow or even hearing a heartbeat this early, will definitely help with making everything more a reality. I will keep everyone posted as soon as we get done with tomorrow's ultrasound. Hopefully it will be with exciting news and maybe even baby's 1st picture!!

Houston...We Have a Due Date! (We think)

I found a great website tonight that helped me make sense of my cycle this last month and exactly how far along I think I am. According to this page, tomorrow would be the end of week 5 for me, which makes totally sense with my beta levels, my last AF and how far along I feel like I am. So, I'm making an executive decision at this point - I am 5 weeks along. (Until something or someone else tells me different!)

Estimated Due Date - April 22, 2011!!!!

Another Update - 48 hrs later!

Blood work results for today (48 hrs later) = 1636. According to the nurse I spoke to, this number is definitely a sign of good things, since my levels not only doubled, but actually tripled.

According to my doctor's office, at this point, it seems to be too soon to do an ultrasound, since they would like my number to be above 2000 before anything could be seen. The nurse I spoke to said she would like the doctor to read over the results as well as give me another week of growth before we move forward with anything else. She says by this time next week, if things are moving along as they should be (and I have had no excessive bleeding or severe cramping), we should be able to at that time schedule an ultrasound since my number will be above the required level and I should be at minimum 6-7 weeks, which is a more appropriate time frame to start seeing anything with the baby.

From what the blood work and beta numbers revealed, we are estimating I am about 4-5 weeks pregnant. According to when I ovulated, I'm closer to 4 weeks, but since my cycle was so messed up this last month, I could also be wrong with when I even ovulated, so I would rather be conservative with estimating and go with the 4-5 weeks. Unfortunately, we have to wait until we have an ultrasound done to have an exact due date and estimate when we concieved. I don't mind being conservative with estimating anyway since I feel telling people too soon can make it harder to deal with any problems that might come up and have to risk telling everyone you know that something happened to the baby.

My parents are coming up this weekend for lunch, so we have decided to to tell them this weekend and possibly may tell Hubby's Mom this week or weekend since we would like our parents to know around the same time. Other then the very limited amount of friends that read this blog on a regular basis (like 1 person - Hi my favorite invitation lady!), we really haven't revealed to anyone that we are expecting and have decided to wait till we see the baby on the ultrasound before we tell the rest of the family and other close friends. Keeping quiet is not easy! Thank god for this blog or I would have a very sore tongue from biting it all day!!!

Update....

Blood work results for today - my HCG level is 545. This confirms that I'm definitely pregnant. Yea!

The next step involves going back in tomorrow to have more blood work done to make sure my numbers are increasing and maybe get a better idea of how far along I am and if an ultrasound can be done.

So now the waiting game continues until Thursday. I will keep you all posted!

So Far, So Good

It's been 3 days since I "found out". I would say that I still don't believe this is all happening, but with my boobs now taking over half my body and feeling like someone is sticking knives in them, its hard to forget that I am "with child". As a person who suffers from anxiety and goes to therapy on a regular basis to control it (thank god for tomorrow' session!), so far I am doing okay with handling all the changes, physical, emotional, mental and even hormonal. So far, so good.

I have to go tomorrow morning for blood work to determine my levels, due to the fact that my cycle was so messed up this month. I'm actually starting to believe though it really wasn't messed up, I was just pregnant and it wasn't showing up yet on tests. According to my last AF, I am estimating I am about 7 weeks along. I could also be about 4 weeks along if I use my last + OPK, but with all the symptoms I have been experiencing, I'm leaning more towards 7 weeks. We will see what the blood work shows.

With these tests coming tomorrow, I am a little nervous about what they will reveal. I can't imagine them coming back and saying "I'm not pregnant", but there is always that chance for every woman who finds herself in this same state. I have even saved one of my HPTs for tomorrow morning, just to make sure I have a "positive" going into the testing.

As I said before, so far, things are good. I am excited, scared, anxious, nervous and most importantly, happy. I will keep you all posted after I have some blood work results. Here's to the next 36 or maybe even 33 weeks!

I Like This Change.....

I made some changes to the blog. Hope you like them! ;)




(Shhh!!! It's still a secret so please keep the news hush-hush for a little while.)

10 DPO and counting.......

I know its been awhile since my last post. It's been a little busy this past week or so, trying to get readjusted from vacation and getting back to work and my regular routine. As for what's going on in the "baby making" department, still nothing ridiculously exciting to report. I say "no news is good news" though.

Its been 45 days since my last visit from AF and while most women would be enjoying this fact, for someone TTC, it can be a little annoying. As a previous post said, I surprisingly discovered I was ovulating around day 36 in my cycle and made sure Hubby and I went to work "baby dancing" for the next couple of days to try to take advantage of my "prime time".

As of today, I am about 10 DPO and have been experiencing cramping, sore breasts, nausea and acne. Why does this not excite me? Because not only are these commons symptoms for a pregnant woman 10 DPO, but they are also symptoms of a woman about to be visited by AF. I have been a little excited about my BBT though. (Yes, I know I said I would stop doing all this stuff, but for now, I am finding that my stress level isn't too crazy, so the temping is something I will continue to do until I go officially crazy.) So far, my BBT temp has been high for the last 10 days, except for a temp drop on my 8th DPO, which could have been explained as implantation (if you believe in "implantation dips"). The next day my BBT went back up and has stayed there. So far, its only been 10 days of these type of temps and you really need to have over 2 weeks of high temps to even think of pregnancy, so even though Hubby is getting excited, I am remaining calm and will wait to test until I hit the 2 week mark and continue to have high temps.

So, with all this in mind, I have not forgotten the letter I wrote to myself. I have been really good about remembering to love myself and not go insane with analyzing every symptom. I am just excited to be able to even have this process as part of my life and have such a supportive husband, who at times, is even more excited then me to get a BFP. The wait for that continues, but I am really ok with it. It's amazing what a little letter to yourself can do.

Dear Me.....

Dear Me,
I want to tell you that you need to calm down about all this TTC stuff. You need to understand that things happen when they are supposed to. I know you are obsessed with control, but unfortunately this is one thing you cannot control and need to accept that. You have an amazing husband, loving family and friends, finally a career you love and four "furry babies" that love you unconditionally. Most importantly, I want you to know that the stress and anxiety you are bringing upon yourself is not helping! You need to love yourself, embrace the life you have now and be patient for what the future holds.
Love, Me

I have needed to write this letter to myself since the day Hubby told me he was ready for a baby. What I mean by this, is that I knew I would work myself up as this process continued. I was excited the first month of TTC, and now on month 3, I am driving myself crazy that something is wrong, when I know its normal to take as much as 1 year to conceive. To help with controlling my anxiety, I read a lot of blogs and TTC boards. It makes me feel better that I am not the only woman out there who drives herself crazy with random TTC thoughts throughout the day.

So here's where I stand after writing myself that letter to myself. I am going to try really really hard to hide my OPKs and thermometer. I was told tonight "Stop making a baby and start having sex." (Basically translated into - "Will you please start having fun having sex with your husband?!!!) I know I have this whole process backwards. I should have done what I promised my husband and just had fun in the beginning and worried about the temperatures and OPKs down the line, but you live and you learn (and then you slap yourself on the forehead and say "snap out of it!")

One last thought - I have spent the last 10 years of my life trying to avoid getting pregnant. I find it extremely ironic that I am now doing everything and anything in my power to try to get pregnant. Life is very, very funny. I am trying really, really hard to laugh.

So I'm Not Pregnant....

But I'm ovulating?!!!

I am sooo confused with TTC right now! Anyone with advice or experience with this, I am all ears.

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Still Waiting.....

It's been 37 days since my last AF and according to my last few cycles which have been 33 days I'm technically "late". I wanted to get excited about this but so far 2 HPT have been been BFNs. I'm starting to wonderf if I miscaluated my ovulation date which could mess up my AF date. I am so stressed with all this stuff which I'm sure doesn't help with AF arriving or TTC. Hubby is all excited that I'm late and I'm starting to feel like I'm letting him down or something. So at this point all I can do is wait and see. Ugg. I love waiting as much as I love change.

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Hump Day Update

Two BFN POAS tests and BBT temps down this week. Just waiting for AF to make her appearance this week.

Interesting article I read online today said that a new study showed evidence that women who are stressed find it harder to conceive. This should make things even more fun for me since my daily routine usually involves at least 1 stress out. Awesome. Might have to invest in some yoga tapes.

So Far, No Good.

So I gave in and POAS this morning. Hubby thought it would be really cool to find out if we are "expecting" on our Anniversary trip so we rushed over to a CVS (told you I would find a drug store) bought a 2-pack of POAS tests and waited till my am pee to test. BFN! :(

I'm hoping that it was too early for anything to show up and not that this month is a wash. According to my chart, I'm 4 days from testing, but since I'm not 100% sure when my body is ovulating, etc. (going off the pill is awesome!) I can't really be sure if when I thought I was ovulating was in fact the day. (I thought I got a positive OPK, but I also could have misread that as well.) I am supposed to get my period on Friday or Saturday, but again, my cycles are still a little unpredictable from going off the pill. I have been have 33-34 day cycles for the last few month so that's what I have been going with. Again, that annoying little thing called "time" comes into play and I will just have to wait and see what this weekend brings or doesn't bring. I prefer the latter.

As for any symptoms so far, my face was very broken out right before we left for the trip and is starting to clear up as the days go by, which is a normal PMS symptom for me, so that one doesn't seem to get me excited. I was having those weird cramps last week, which I thought was too early for PMS, but since my cycles are still unpredictable it could just mean AF could be coming earlier then this weekend. I have had no real breast sensitivity, other then a few issues with my nipples (isn't being a woman fun?!) but again, those could be both PG symptoms and PMS symptoms. As for nausea, I have been experiencing this since I started taking prenatal vitamins and just stitched my brand to try to prevent this. I have had nausea while we have been on vacation, but again, I am in a different place, eating no-so-great food and might be PMSing, so this wouldn't be a surprise. I wish I could say I had "implantation bleeding" or something really significant, but nothing yet. Again, have to wait the week out.

On a different note, I had a beautiful anniversary day with the Hubby. We walked around Savannah for two hours in the sweltering heat looking for a breakfast place and went to a fancy schmany restaurant for dinner and got seated at a romantic table by the window, which had ants crawling over it. OK, enough of the sarcasm. It was actually an amazing day.

I will keep you posted as the week goes by as to when AF arrives (boo!) or if we get a BFP (yea!)

1 Year Ago Today.....

1 year ago today I was still a "Miss". 1 year ago today I was putting on my white dress. 1 year ago today I was nervous and excited about what was ahead. 1 year ago today I married my best friend. 1 year ago today I wasn't even thinking about being a Mom.

Today, I am a "Mrs." who still remembers the feeling of that white dress. Today I am still nervous and excited about what is ahead. Today I celebrate being married to my best friend. Today, I can't wait to be a Mom.

Time is a funny thing. We try to find ways to stop it, yet marvel in how fast it flies by.

Here's to the next 365. May you bring much but take your time doing it.

Cramping My Style...

So the body has a weird way of playing horrible tricks on you. For the last day or so, I have been getting the weirdest cramps. They are similar to period cramps but AF isn't due until a week from Saturday so it seems early for PMS cramps which makes me (hopefully) think they might be implantation cramps.

That would of course mean I got pregnant this cycle which would be amazing for only 2 months of trying. I am pessimist though so I'm thinking they are probably my bodies way of saying "Hello...guess what AF is going to come early this month! Surprise!" Of course this would mean I would have AF while on my very romantic 1st anniversary vacation. Hubby is going to love that!!

Its obviously very early to even think of testing, so I am just going to hope that AF stays away at least till the end of my trip (or better yet doesn't come at all!)

I will keep you all posted while I'm away.

Have a Nice Trip.

Today began my TWW and I'm not feeling too confident about this month, but Hubby says "he did the job" so we will see. Hubby and I will actually be on vacation (for our 1st anniversary) when I'm supposed to be visited by AF (or not!). As for where we are going, Hubby and I decided on Savannah, Georgia. We wanted to go somewhere romantic to celebrate our anniversary, but also somewhere that wasn't too "resort like" or "vacationy", since we have done those trips in the past and for our Honeymoon. Savannah seemed perfect for the type of vacation we wanted and would still offer us a nice place to stay and things to do.

As I countdown the days until we leave, and even more importantly, our first anniversary, I still can't believe it's been a year since I get married. I never thought this time last year, as I was rushing around with last minute dress fittings and rearranging the seating chart for the 10th time, that I would now be consumed with baby dancing and OPKs, but that's where I find myself 365 days later. I am definitely not complaining. Being a Mom has been on my to-do list for quite a while, but now that's it a reality, I sometimes have to remind myself how fast times flies. Knowing this could very likely be our last vacation as a "twosome," we are making an extra effort to enjoy this vacation as much as possible. Having dinner in a romantic restaurant, a riverboat gambling cruise and even a late night ghost tour are all on the agenda. All very "not baby friendly" activities. We know this time next year we could be getting ready for a trip to the hospital instead of vacation trip.

I had visions of getting pregnant while on vacation (how cute would it have been to name a daughter Savannah), but thanks to going of BC and my irregular cycles that won't be happening. Instead, we will have to settle for finding out if we are "with child" towards the end of our trip. Still could be very romantic and make for a very memorable trip. Better start looking for a drug store near the hotel, just in case.

The Terrible Twos...

The two week wait begins......

OPK Yes or No?

I gave in and peed today. I'm trying to decide if this means major baby dancing later?

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OPK = OMG

OMG...I'm done with pee sticks for this week.

So today I am supposed to be ovulating but I have taken 3 OPK tests today (1 in the morning and 2 this afternoon) and both barely show two dark lines so I'm guessing that means I'm not ovulating. It's kind of frustrating and makes me think that maybe I missed my day this month or even scarier to think I didn't ovulate this month which means there might be something wrong with me. I have been feeling some slight pain in my lower abdomen this week which could be ovulation pains or my IBS saying Hi. So either I'm ready for major baby making or have to poop. Decisions, decisions....

It's only month two for me of TTC, so there is really no reason to freak out or get anxious about anything. The thing that will be driving me crazy is when does my TWW start? Today, next week? In order to not obsess over this as well, I'm just going to not pay attention to calenders, cell phones and any other date showing device until either I get a BFP or AF arrives. Easy enough, right?

Monday Morning Chuckle - Update

So I tested this afternoon at 2:30pm. OPK says no surge today but now I don't know what to think because I have been testing at the wrong time. My ovulation day is supposed to be Wednesday, so let's see what 2pm brings tomorrow.

On a side note - this is a little TMI but funny - My hubby told me today he thinks "we did it" (aka made a baby) last night. He said he has a feeling and he tried really hard. Ha Ha. He has no idea how ovulation works, but it was really cute though and if he's right, will be even cuter!

Monday Morning Chuckle

Here is a good laugh for all my TTC girls out there. I realized this morning while reading one of my many TTC websites and blogs, that I have been using my OPK's at the wrong time of day. I thought by getting my butt out of bed bright and early and peeing in my little cup first thing in the morning I would be ahead of the game. Nope. DiamondMomma messed this one up.

According to this website and many others, you are supposed to test around 2pm. Ugg. So much for this month's worth of tests. I am supposed to be ovulating this week, so hopefully I can start testing this afternoon and continue the rest of the week and hope I didn't miss my LH surge.

The lesson learned from all this - Make sure you really read all those TTC websites/blogs very carefully. You might think you are ahead of the game when in fact that first morning bathroom trip you are running out of bed for is really costing you precious minutes of sleep and a lot of pee sticks!

I will keep you all posted after I test this afternoon. I had a little spike in my temperature this morning so maybe that is a good sign. See you later!

PS/ I am babysitting my nephew (my hubby's brother's son) right now. He has to be the cutest, happiest baby ever! I am really excited to have kids when I am with him because I will be loving life if mine turn out like him. I am also completely terrified of having kids when I'm with him because the odds of this kid's temperament being repeated could be slim too none.

Take a look at this kid! Is he not the cutest?! Let's hope happy genes run in my hubby's family!

Keeping It Fun....

According to my handy dandy cell phone app "My Days", right now is my prime baby making time. This means that now until ovulation day, me and Hubby are supposed to be baby making like crazy. Easier said then done. This "prime time" usually lasts about 7 days and honestly, between work and other stuff going on, sometimes the Hubby and I like to "go to bed early" just to go to bed early. I can see why making babies can take a little while. Don't get me wrong, we are definitely "trying" as much as we can, but more importantly we are trying to keep it fun and unpredictable, a promise we made to ourselves at the start of this so we wouldn't feel like "baby dancing" was becoming a chore. I have, however, found ways to make sure that we are at least doing the "dance" at all the right times.

To keep you updated, this is what I have been doing so far: I wake up every morning at 7:30am (yes even on Saturdays and Sundays) to check my BBT; I pee on a OPK every morning as well - this will probably not last long though due to the expense of the monthly kits; I also very casually track my CM - I have not resorted to actually keeping track of this 100%, just seems too icky at this point, but for those who know what is involved with this, sometimes you can't avoid noticing the loveliness that is happening down under. So far, all of these methods have shown I am ovulating every month which is definitely a plus, but whether the use of all these things will lead to a "plus sign," only time and lots of "baby dancing" will tell.

At this point, Hubby and I are in the midst of month two of TTC and have no reason for concern. If you ask doctors and professionals, they say 6 months - 1 year is normal for TTC. I know me, and me says I will not make 6 months, so I will probably hold out for maybe 5 months and then schedule a doctors appointment during month 6 so I can say that I have been trying for the accepted time frame. Hopefully, things will happen sooner then later and 9 months from now I can be posting about birthing plans instead of baby making. But in the meantime, I will continue with temperature taking and peeing on sticks. Oh yea, and "baby dancing". We are going to continue to do that. Like I said earlier, it's not a chore yet and we are having lots of fun, so we will continue to do what works for us. And if that means, what works for us is going to bed early to sleep, that's what we will do. We both know we won't be getting much time to do that, or any other chores for that matter, once the "plus sign" becomes a "plus 1 more".

The Name Game

Do you want to know how I knew my husband was really ready to have a baby? "Pulling the goalie" was of course one of the most obvious signs he gave, but I feel it was his willingness to play the "name game" with me that really did it. What is the "name game"? For me, its where you spend waste less hours in front of the computer surfing the baby name websites for the most unique, creative baby names and then start collecting those names in a secret file on your phone or computer until the BFP arrives and you actually have a reason to start taking claim to them.

Hubby and I sat on the couch last night playing the "name game". Of course, I got some, "no way in hells" and "are you kidding me? They will beat up our kid with that name", but at least he was offering his input. "The name game" is something I played in secret for awhile. I didn't want to freak the Hubby out. TTC was a little bit of a sore subject in our house, especially since he was very adamant about not being ready and my persistence was starting to become "very annoying" (his words).

His willingness now to participate in such a silly game means a lot to me. I have wondered more then once if he gave into TTC because he didn't want to listen to me whine anymore or he was worried that I slowly was going crazy and might even resort to stealing babies from the mall. (This would have never been an option, by the way. I was willing to wait for my own pregnancy. Excessive weight gain, stretch marks and numerous trips to the bathroom to pee are just too awesome to pass up.) I don't have any reason to worry anymore though. I see my husband around other people's babies and notice how he lights up and smiles at them. He even seems to think the poop faces my 6 month nephew makes are cute. (It will be even cuter when its our baby making poopy faces and he has to change that diaper.)

I love how my Hubby is now an active and willing participant in the "name game", even throwing in a few suggestions of his own. While we have yet to agree fully on a boy and girl name (Hubby doesn't seem to be a fan of me getting ideas from the celebrity baby blogs. I'm not really keen on naming our first born after his favorite Russian hockey players.), we can at least agree that we are 100% sure that the TTC game is one we are happy to be players in. And if your wondering how we decide who wins the "name game"? Well, when I'm in my 32nd hour of labor and he has lost all feeling in his right hand from me squeezing it too hard, I'm thinking he might be a little more open to all those celebrity baby names I have been suggesting.


For anyone else playing the "name game" right now, here's some of my favorite websites"

www.babynames.com

www.babynamewizard.com

www.mybabyname.com

Change is Good. Really.

I HATE CHANGE.

There I said it. That wasn't so bad to admit. So if I hate change, why am I trying to pursue something that will most definitely change my life 100 million percent? Who the hell knows? I think I might be one of those people who likes pain - a masochist. Yea, that's me. DiamondMomma the Masochist! Anyway, one of the side effects of hating change is that you can become very immature and selfish. You forget that other people have problems of their own and that what's going on in your life may not be as important to them as it is to you. You want people to stay young forever, have time to go the mall on a random Tuesday or stay on the phone for 2 hours discussing the most recent episode of "The Real Housewives of NJ". Its ok to have boyfriends and get married and have babies, but only if we all are doing this at the same time and no one is changing faster then you.

A huge reason for starting this blog was that I felt I needed an outlet for my ramblings. I needed to be able to talk about the crazy thoughts going through my TTC brain without draining the life out of my friends and family, if I haven't already. Ignorance is not something I have a problem with, so I do realize is that bringing a baby into the world as a selfish and immature person who hates change may not be the most healthiest thing to do, so I have made a promise to myself to work to overcome these thoughts and actions.

For those who don't know, I am a huge fan of therapy. Some people like to keep the fact that they are in therapy hush-hush, but for me I don't shy away from sharing the fact that I go. I think it helps people understand why I am the way I am, that I have issues that need to be worked out and I'm trying to do that. Therapy has also made me really admit to the things about myself I need to change.

I started going to my most recent therapist to deal with a diagnosis of Irritable Bowl Syndrome (IBS). (You are welcome to Google this one if you don't know what IBS is...but let's just say if you need to know where the most accessible and cleanest bathrooms are in the Philadelphia area are, I'm your girl.) I have a history of anxiety, depression and panic disorder and my stomach was starting to take over my daily life and it made me even more nervous thinking about babies when I felt so unstable physically and mentally. At the suggestion of my doctor, I found a therapist that specialized in anxiety and patients with IBS and have found over the last 6 months that talking about all my issues has helped with not only controlling my IBS, but brought some pretty strong emotions to the surface.

The downside to therapy is that you have to admit some pretty horrible things about yourself, for example, that you hate change and you have a tendency to be very selfish and immature. Having a baby will probably be the most mature and unselfish thing I do in the future and for someone with these qualities, I needed to decide really quickly if I am capable of letting them go and if I was really ready for this TTC thing to happen. Since you are reading this blog, you know I am in the process of TTC, meaning yes, I am working on accepting change and getting all this negativity out of my head. It won't happen overnight, but TTC doesn't necessarily happen overnight either (well, technically it can happen the first time you try, but you understand what I'm getting at), so thankfully I have some time to work through this stuff. And while it scares the living daylights out of me, I have never been more excited for the change that TTC will bring. And trust me, when "Little D" arrives in the world, selfish is the last thing that will be going through my mind. I will have no problem sharing diaper duty with anyone who wants to help.

Reason #432 I Can't Wait to Have a Baby.....

There are many reasons I want to have a baby. To be honest though, there is one thing that makes me so very happy and I cannot wait to announce I am with child so I can start shopping for one. I say reason #432, but it might be #4 or #5.





Yes. The Coach Baby Bag. It has become an obsession. I must confess that I do have a slight addiction to Coach. My guest room currently holds the "Coach Closet", with my array of bags, shoes and accessories. This guest room will eventually become the nursery so I'm still trying to figure out where my Coach collection will go once the baby thing happens. (Babies don't need an entire closet, right?)

I know my Mom has already purchased a Coach Baby Bag for me (Yes, a little premature, but it was at the Outlet and was adorable and we both couldn't resist.), but it is a gender neutral one and I know once "Little D" arrives and we know what he or she is, I will of course need to coordinate my Coach to match he or she, meaning a pink or blue bag will of course need to be purchased. For now though, I find happiness in checking the Coach website maybe 2 or 3 million times a day just to see if they have designed any new Baby Bags, or anything new, because its Coach and I love it.

But just in case my Mom is reading this post, I have already picked out my Baby Shower cake for the yet-to-be conceived "Little D".





Seriously, I may throw myself a "I'm Not Pregnant Yet But Am Trying So Why Wait" Shower, just to have this sweet baby made!

PS/ I also found these online. I wonder if the Hubby would be open to a Coach themed nursery?

Yes I Can Go From Baby's Birthdays to "Baby Dancing"

So today my hubby and I went to a baby's 1st birthday. It made us both really want a baby while also being horribly terrified of children who have not had their nap yet. We will see if we do the baby dance later - might have scared my hubby just enough to hold off for a few days. Speaking of which, I've noticed that when you decide that you are ready to have a baby, "baby dancing" or as those who don't speak the lingo may also know this as "making love", "sexy time" ,etc, becomes very different from normal married, newlywed "loving". You go from doing anything and using everything possible to not have babies to now throwing caution to the wind and trying to do it as much as you can and make sure that all the, ahem, things that need to be done are done. Things can get very routine after awhile but there are ways to keep things interesting. My mom might read this blog eventually so I'll refrain from sharing what those things are, but you can use your imagination. As would be expected though, my hubby seems not to mind that it didn't happen the first time we tried and honestly, I don't think I mind either. It's nice to have an excuse sometimes to go to bed early. So basically the moral of the story is to enjoy the time you have now with your partner and even if it takes a little longer to make the baby, you should not complain. Because sooner or later, the crying kid at the 1st birthday party who hasn't had their nap will be your kid.

Catching up to the rest of them....

One thing I have noticed about making babies or even just having a baby is that it changes you and your relationships with other people. The friends who were known as the "life of the party" and could do twice as many shots as the frat boys are now changing poopy diapers and covered in spit up. Random trips to the shore for the weekend don't happen anymore. Your friends with babies are too busy with naptime or feeding time or any other time that involves their new bundle of joy. Having a baby is a wonderful amazing experience, or so I have been told, and even though I am all about being a member in this exclusive club, its still hard to face that fact that your friendships will and are going to change. Personally, I have always felt that I have been steps behind most of my friends. When I was single, they had boyfriends. When I had a boyfriend, they were getting engaged. When I got engaged, they were already married and talking about babies. When I got married, they were my pregnant bridesmaids. Just when I thought I had finally "joined the club" and was ready to tell them about my husband and I "making babies", 2nd babies were already on their minds. Needless to say, I have been trying to catch up for years. Now that I finally feel that I am getting as close as I ever will, it seems like all my worrying and stress was for nothing.

Ultimately, I've learned that its really not a big deal if I catch up or not. Honestly, I probably never will. What I have learned from over analyzing this entire situation (which I know is a bad habit of mine and I promise will eventually stop doing) is that I need to see the bigger picture. Its not just me who is feeling left behind. A single friend of mine recently confessed that she feels I am not around enough and that marriage has changed me. It was a huge eye opener for me. I can't be upset at the friends who might be moving up in life a little faster then me because there is always going to be someone out there who feels they are trying to catch up to someone else. People will move on with life and relationships will change, so I have and am growing to accept that these changes are out of my control and part of being an adult. I am excited to have a baby, and as marriage has, having one will probably change me more. I am ok with it and hope that the friends that are not quite at where I am at, will be ok with me. I am ok with my friends who already have babies and are even working on their 2nd and even 3rd. They are going to be great resources when my time comes and I should take advantage of them being just a little ahead of me in the game.

To fill you in on what's happened so far....

I thought it might be good to fill you in on what has happened so far concerning baby making since that is what this blog is about. I am currently on month 2 of trying to conceive. I promised my husband I wouldn't go crazy with testing and temperatures so early in the process, but I couldn't help but buy my Basel thermometer and ovulation kits. Test strips and temperatures 1st thing in the morning can be annoying but I have always been a perfectionist and tend to have an obsessive personality about things, so I knew I would be doing this stuff eventually so I figured I'd just give into it. I was frustrated with not getting pregnant my 1st month of trying because you hear of all these women who get pregnant the first month or even week of trying, but as a good friend reminded me, you only hear about these stories and not the stories of the women who it took months to happen to so I continue to remain positive and just "have fun" as another very good friend (and new mom herself) has kept telling me throughout this entire process.

Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend....until she wants a baby!!

I decided to write this blog as an outlet for all the thoughts that have been going through my head the last few months. I am about to celebrate my 1st anniversary and it has been an amazing year with my husband. It wasn't until about 6 months into the marriage and I turned 30 that I felt life was missing something though. Unfortunately for my husband, my clock went from a non-existent hum to a very loud and annoying tick! To make a long story short, it took the next 4 months for my husband to "catch up" with my clock and now we are in the process, and very happily I might add, of trying to have a baby. We are in month two of "trying" and even though it was frustrating not being that girl who it happens to right away, my husband as you can imagine, is not complaining that we are going to continue to try for our "Little D" as I have affectionately named our yet to be conceived offspring. Stay tuned for more crazy thoughts from my baby-making mind!