Today was a tough day. The first I am sure of many and a good test for how Hubby and I will handle what happens along the way. I went in for routine blood work a little over a week ago. I am not a fan of needles, but since this was the 4th or 5th time I have had to do this, I am starting to get used to the ongoing poking and prodding of my veins. I was told not to expect any phone calls from the Doctor unless something came back on the blood work that was a concern. The concern I wasn't expecting came today.
The nurse from my doctor's office called today to tell me that everything came back on the blood work fine - iron levels, hepatitis negative, etc, except I tested positive for the Cystic Fibrosis (CF) mutation. Long story short, if Hubby also carries this mutation, our baby has a 25% chance of having CF. Needless to say, Hubby was having his blood drawn during his lunch hour today.
This news today was an unexpected blow but surprisingly not a shock. I don't know if its a bad or good thing, but I was familiar with this situation, as my best friend went through this exact same situating when she was pregnant with her son last year. She was a wreck during the entire process and wasn't okay till her husband tested negative. Thank god for my ongoing therapy, or I imagine I would have broken down and been a wreck myself at work today. I was able to hold myself together remembering not to worry until we really have a reason to worry. Don't get me wrong, I am not taking this news lightly. The idea of something being wrong with this baby or even having to face the decision on how to move forward knowing our baby would have something wrong with it or even worse, could die at birth or very shortly after is incomprehensible to me. I haven't thought about it yet and haven't really wanted to.
This news today also opened a new "can of worms" concerning the genetic testing we are supposed to schedule for week 12 to rule out Down Syndrome and other genetic disorders/diseases. Before today, Hubby and I had decide to move forward with this testing, wanting to know all that we would be dealing with and if there was something wrong, making sure we had time to be prepared for it. However, getting a phone call saying there could potentially be something wrong with the baby is not something I want to get used to. If my Doctor could promise that the 12 week screening would come back 100% okay or the results could even be immediate, I might be less hesitant to move forward with these tests, but after the phone call today I'm having 2nd thoughts. After some conversations this evening though, Hubby and I did decide that the 12 week testing is something we are going to do. I have mixed feelings, but if we can get through a bump in the road concerning this CF issue, we can deal with anything. We love each other and know we will love this baby more then anything.
I may be a control freak and have issues with anxiety, but I know that part of being ready for motherhood involved giving up this control and becoming less anxious very quickly. This process hasn't been easy but I feel I am making more progress everyday. Life is throwing me tests all the time, hence today's phone call. I am becoming a stronger person and I know its going to make me an even better parent then I would have been. So, test away life. Keep throwing me curve balls. I am ready for whatever happens.
Oh Mandy, I've been thinking about you day and night since we texted yesterday afternoon. Keep your head up, and like you said...no reason to be totally off the wall alarmed just yet. And even if Adam's test come back unfavorable to what you were hoping, 25% is still a low number. You have wonderful family and strong friendships that will support and help you and Adam with whatever is thrown your way! Just remember that! Love you!
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