Dear Me.....

Dear Me,
I want to tell you that you need to calm down about all this TTC stuff. You need to understand that things happen when they are supposed to. I know you are obsessed with control, but unfortunately this is one thing you cannot control and need to accept that. You have an amazing husband, loving family and friends, finally a career you love and four "furry babies" that love you unconditionally. Most importantly, I want you to know that the stress and anxiety you are bringing upon yourself is not helping! You need to love yourself, embrace the life you have now and be patient for what the future holds.
Love, Me

I have needed to write this letter to myself since the day Hubby told me he was ready for a baby. What I mean by this, is that I knew I would work myself up as this process continued. I was excited the first month of TTC, and now on month 3, I am driving myself crazy that something is wrong, when I know its normal to take as much as 1 year to conceive. To help with controlling my anxiety, I read a lot of blogs and TTC boards. It makes me feel better that I am not the only woman out there who drives herself crazy with random TTC thoughts throughout the day.

So here's where I stand after writing myself that letter to myself. I am going to try really really hard to hide my OPKs and thermometer. I was told tonight "Stop making a baby and start having sex." (Basically translated into - "Will you please start having fun having sex with your husband?!!!) I know I have this whole process backwards. I should have done what I promised my husband and just had fun in the beginning and worried about the temperatures and OPKs down the line, but you live and you learn (and then you slap yourself on the forehead and say "snap out of it!")

One last thought - I have spent the last 10 years of my life trying to avoid getting pregnant. I find it extremely ironic that I am now doing everything and anything in my power to try to get pregnant. Life is very, very funny. I am trying really, really hard to laugh.

Monday Morning Chuckle

Here is a good laugh for all my TTC girls out there. I realized this morning while reading one of my many TTC websites and blogs, that I have been using my OPK's at the wrong time of day. I thought by getting my butt out of bed bright and early and peeing in my little cup first thing in the morning I would be ahead of the game. Nope. DiamondMomma messed this one up.

According to this website and many others, you are supposed to test around 2pm. Ugg. So much for this month's worth of tests. I am supposed to be ovulating this week, so hopefully I can start testing this afternoon and continue the rest of the week and hope I didn't miss my LH surge.

The lesson learned from all this - Make sure you really read all those TTC websites/blogs very carefully. You might think you are ahead of the game when in fact that first morning bathroom trip you are running out of bed for is really costing you precious minutes of sleep and a lot of pee sticks!

I will keep you all posted after I test this afternoon. I had a little spike in my temperature this morning so maybe that is a good sign. See you later!

PS/ I am babysitting my nephew (my hubby's brother's son) right now. He has to be the cutest, happiest baby ever! I am really excited to have kids when I am with him because I will be loving life if mine turn out like him. I am also completely terrified of having kids when I'm with him because the odds of this kid's temperament being repeated could be slim too none.

Take a look at this kid! Is he not the cutest?! Let's hope happy genes run in my hubby's family!

Keeping It Fun....

According to my handy dandy cell phone app "My Days", right now is my prime baby making time. This means that now until ovulation day, me and Hubby are supposed to be baby making like crazy. Easier said then done. This "prime time" usually lasts about 7 days and honestly, between work and other stuff going on, sometimes the Hubby and I like to "go to bed early" just to go to bed early. I can see why making babies can take a little while. Don't get me wrong, we are definitely "trying" as much as we can, but more importantly we are trying to keep it fun and unpredictable, a promise we made to ourselves at the start of this so we wouldn't feel like "baby dancing" was becoming a chore. I have, however, found ways to make sure that we are at least doing the "dance" at all the right times.

To keep you updated, this is what I have been doing so far: I wake up every morning at 7:30am (yes even on Saturdays and Sundays) to check my BBT; I pee on a OPK every morning as well - this will probably not last long though due to the expense of the monthly kits; I also very casually track my CM - I have not resorted to actually keeping track of this 100%, just seems too icky at this point, but for those who know what is involved with this, sometimes you can't avoid noticing the loveliness that is happening down under. So far, all of these methods have shown I am ovulating every month which is definitely a plus, but whether the use of all these things will lead to a "plus sign," only time and lots of "baby dancing" will tell.

At this point, Hubby and I are in the midst of month two of TTC and have no reason for concern. If you ask doctors and professionals, they say 6 months - 1 year is normal for TTC. I know me, and me says I will not make 6 months, so I will probably hold out for maybe 5 months and then schedule a doctors appointment during month 6 so I can say that I have been trying for the accepted time frame. Hopefully, things will happen sooner then later and 9 months from now I can be posting about birthing plans instead of baby making. But in the meantime, I will continue with temperature taking and peeing on sticks. Oh yea, and "baby dancing". We are going to continue to do that. Like I said earlier, it's not a chore yet and we are having lots of fun, so we will continue to do what works for us. And if that means, what works for us is going to bed early to sleep, that's what we will do. We both know we won't be getting much time to do that, or any other chores for that matter, once the "plus sign" becomes a "plus 1 more".